Today was a golden day… I’m not quite sure what the right descriptive word is. “Happy” isn’t good enough, and neither is “satisfying” or “productive” or “positive.” Maybe “appreciative” would be more true to the feeling of it. I felt very appreciative of the place I’m in at this short moment, these last few days of a job that has been satisfying and productive and positive in the ways that it has challenged me and opened me up to fresh ideas and connections with like-minded creative people.
I rode into Waltham on the train at 10am and got started on the next shot, a fairly simple and short one, compared to the most recent shots and the complicated ones coming up tomorrow and Thursday. It was a nice quiet day at the studio, only myself and Jeff, who was directing. I was especially diligent this time about preplanning the movements and expressions in the 2 and a half second shot, down to every last blink, and found that this allowed me to get most of the hard math work done before the shot even started. The rest of the way was smooth creative sailing because I could TRUST the notations I had so carefully made, and could depend on them to be accurate. After that I was free to make small adjustments as necessary as I went along and observed how the shot was developing.
Another key factor was that instead of my usual playlist of sappy sad and dreary melodies (the kind of music that makes you sigh), I tried out some new mixed CDs with real “beats” compiled by my master DJ roommate, Amelia, who has lately been the main source of my musical education and enlightenment. Anyhow, feeling the beats and accompanying them with a lovely cup of jasmine green tea, brought me to that perfectly centered point of focus, where I was totally into the work, enjoying it, engrossed in it, not feeling the least bit tired or in need of physical things, my stomach was not digesting, my mind was not preoccupied, my heart was not caught up in emotional troubles, I wasn’t in any pain - not even my animator’s back was bothering me. Later, when I did get hungry, I treated myself again to Thai, went for a walk in the perfect fall afternoon weather, sunny and refreshing, perfect new fall leaves on the sidewalk, and I felt so lucky to be experiencing such a rare state of worry-free balance and to be aware of it in the moment. I also felt lucky that in addition to this, no catastrophes are currently occurring in my personal or family circle, no extreme dramas, no one is particularly unwell. Everything seemed to be at an apex of balance…. if you were animating the feeling frame by frame as a leap through the air, it would be the frame where the object has reached the top and hangs for a milli-moment before descending again, but stretched out into the space of several hours.
The shot went smoothly, with only a small hang up at the very beginning requiring a restart (a spot of dust on the camera sensor showing up on a main character’s face). The time lapse still camera was capturing again, as well as a video camera pointed from the back of the set into the characters and towards my face, which was a little distracting at first, but I got used to its ever present eye after a while, and even got comfortable enough to eat my fig newton snacks in front of it without shame. Next time I’m going to make a face at it during a capture and see if anyone notices.
At 5:30 I finished early and later went out to a movie at the Embassy Cinema in Waltham - “The Science of Sleep,” which I loved…. again I’m at a lack for proper descriptive words. It was a sort of crazy romantic story mixing live action with jerky stop-motion assisted dream sequences, simple and childlike and colorful. The main characters were older and plainer and more flawed than your average movie heroes, with their complexities exposed, and that’s what the film seemed to be about, was these characters and their imperfections and complexities and sad human-ness, and yet also their beauty and ability to find love and acceptance for others and themselves despite these things, even in celebration of these things. The main characters were shown living their lives, trying to make things work in normal ways, even though the film’s style is very abnormal. They weren’t sarcastic, didn’t use catchy witty phrases, weren’t very made-up physically and weren’t lit in a glorified way. I felt I could really relate to them both and was touched by the human qualities revealed in them. the childish stop-motion was inspiring, because it again reminded me that animation does not have to be slick and smooth to be effective and emotive, and overall the film made me feel more tolerant and celebratory of my own complexities and abnormalities and perceived weaknesses. The analogy that I thought of later was, that I really don’t need to worry about making myself into a solved Rubik’s Cube, with all my qualities neatly balanced out and aligned, which is how I’ve often viewed the future “complete” form of myself to be.
Before the film started, I set my cell phone alarm to buzz at 9:15 since the train would be arriving at 9:25, but discovered at the end, that it had already turned to 9:17, so I exited the theatre with unusual speed, still blurry minded with movie-disorientation, with a strong need to pee, and started running down the dark street towards the train platform, feeling somewhat like I was in the movie, trapped in a strange half-dream like the main character. Since the platform is on the opposite side of the tracks, I am often paranoid that I’ll reach the tracks just as the train is arriving, but on the wrong side, so the bells will ring, and the bar will descend across the road and I’ll be forced to stand there and watch as my last possible ride picks up its passengers and descends into the night. So I ran like a madperson just until I reached the right side of the tracks, and then walked normally again. The final pleasant surprise of the night was when the train conductor allowed me to get off at my stop without paying the fare! Now I am completely tired out from writing, time to get to sleep in preparation for a complicated shot tomorrow.
